THE ROCKSTAR.

Drag.

I woke up this morning and decided not to go work. Called my aunt and took leave. The only time I got outta bed was to make that call. Otherwise, I was in bed til seven in the evening.
I didn't wanna leave my bed. I didn't wanna leave the warmth. Was just too comfortable. I woke up with grastric pains. Off and on I'd feel the pain. Sharp pains. A few times it would get so pain that I can't move. Like as if I was really bedridden. Obviously my tummy was telling me I need to eat but I wasn't even hungry. No appetite means no appetite. I don't know how long this has been going on for. Haven't had these pains for 183643545237 months and suddenly it comes back. Ah well. Whatevers.

So I'd stayed in bed reading and drifting off to sleep and when I woke up I started reading again and then drifted off to sleep. Lost count of how many times I woke up. Felt like as if I was sedated or something.

Momma calls around twelve and finds out I'm home and asks why and blah blah blah. Casually told her I just wanted to take the day off and she didn't bother asking anymore then she said she'd buy dinner back and told me to cook some rice.
Figured if I wanna tell her, I'd have said something already. Good thing she doesn't poke her nose around too much. Whatever she has to know, I'll tell her in my own time.

Finally I wake up around quarter to seven and lazed in bed for a bit and decided to get outta my bed. Went to wash the rice for cooking and while it was cooking, I did the laundry. I don't know why, but it'd felt good. Wierd.

I need a smoke real bad! I only had one stick for yesterday. I know I have two sticks left but I don't know where they are. Maybe I left them at some coffeeshop or 85 market or something. NVM. There were two miserable sticks left. If I was desperate enough, I would've gone downstairs by now. Wouldn't even be here complaining.

Rahhh. I become a mean monster when I'm outta fags and when I smoke, I'm suddenly not constipated anymore. Smoking is a good cure for constipation. And sometimes, when you feel hungry and you don't have money, ask a stranger for a ciggie. It eases your hunger pangs for awhile. Haa. Tried and tested. At least it works on me. Doesn't mean it'll work on everyone.

I suddenly find myself missing the songs from Chloe. Some classical CD I play every day over and over again at my aunt's shop. Though it makes me fall asleep at work, it relaxes. Should bring my laptop to work one day and put the songs in my itunes.

Right. Gotta go work tomorrow. Don't feel like working anymore. Lazy. But I have to. Need to earn some money. Though momma's still giving me seventy per week, it's still not enough. Not enough for retail therapy. I don't go milfing all the time. I don't have much guts as the rest do. AND I don't wanna get caught like some did. Imagine being nineteen and you are under probation. It sucks.

Sera and Vic invited me to their mocktail. Haha. I actually stared at Vic when I heard Mocktail. I made her repeat like three times. Hmmm. So I'm attending it. Meeting Adrian after work and then going to Yew Tee. Never been there. Hope I don't have to go there again. The travelling is taxing. On top of that, that damn chinchow is making me travel all the way to Woodlands to meet him first. Bitch! Haha. I don't know why I'm so nice. All he did in allllll our years of friendship is disturb. That's like eleven years of teasing and disturbing and whatever not. All the korkors in church were like that too. Irritants one by one. Hahaha. OK nevermind about that.

So after I knock off from work I'll be meeting chinchow. Hopefully, he'll be in town so it'll be more convenient. Then we'll meet Sera and the rest. Told momma that I won't be home tomorrow. She's been asking me since last week when'd I be staying over at my dad's or anyone's place. She promised me that she won't bring that boyfriend-what's-his-face over when I'm around. And now she's kinda chasing me out. So I'll be staying over at dunno whose place. Maybe Adrian's, maybe not. Actually, all I wanna do is get outta the house and get drunk. I NEED to get drunk. Argh.

OKAY I'm outta here.
Doing some reading then I'm gonna fall asleep.

posted by Rinster @ 1:32 am